Caitlin Writes:

I’m participating in NaNoWriMo, and somehow, I’ve managed to finish the 50,000 word requirement to complete the challenge of writing a novel, despite leaving 30,000 of those words for the last two weeks!

November is a month of many occasions — Remembrance Day, U.S. Thanksgiving (a.k.a. Round 2 for some of us Canadians), Black Friday, Movember, and of course, NaNoWriMo, more formally known as National Novel Writing Month. While some of you might have spent your November growing facial hair, others like Caitlin have spent it writing a novel (and presumably growing facial hair on the side).

Regardless of whether or not writing is your forte, it’s quite fair to say that a novel is no easy thing to write! From a purely numerical standpoint, that’s 50,000 words, or roughly 100 people congratulated by this column. But no good novel consists solely of people getting their horns tooted!

(As an aside, that would make for the worst detective fiction novel ever: “Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of the UWaterloo Horn Tooter” and its eventual movie adaptation, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Horn Tooting,” starring Robert Downey Jr. as international millionaire playboy Tony Stark.)

With novels, it’s not just about reaching the 50,000 word requirement. There needs to be a plot, relatable characters, and an overall journey that takes readers into a whole different world. If I’m doing a bad job of describing what it’s like to write a novel, that’s because quite frankly, I don’t know how to write a novel. I’m a columnist, not a literary genius!

Caitlin, I’m not saying you’re a literary genius — heck, you could be terrible for all I know — but what I do know is that it’s a gutsy move on your part to participate in NaNoWriMo. It’s a major commitment that you’ve undertaken on top of the demands of university and whatever else you might have to contend with. Is completing a novel over the course of merely a month worth a high-five? I think it’s worth at least 10,000 high-fives, if not more.

Congratulations, Caitlin! You’ve successfully participated in NaNoWriMo and written a novel in its entirety! That’s a major hurdle that you have successfully leapt over!

Now, if you’ve paid even the slightest attention to a hurdles race beyond the part with a gun, you’ll know that there is more than one hurdle in the race! Guess what, Caitlin? You’ve only jumped over one hurdle in this literary race.

What’s the next hurdle? Sequels! You might be able to spin a riveting tale of tooting and horns, but where does the story go from there? Consider how busy you might’ve been over November — now consider living like that forever! You’re well on your path to becoming a true writer now.

But while you might have one leg outstretched over the sequel hurdle, bear in mind that these hurdles aren’t evenly spaced out in a nice, orderly fashion. There’s the next hurdle, unemployment, which is bound to happen if you decide to write full-time. Immediately after is the hurdle of not being able to afford groceries, which is directly connected to the next hurdle of crippling hunger! Don’t like where this metaphor is going? too bad — the next hurdle is not being able to afford a better metaphor.

The imagery may be harsh and cruel, but I am preparing you for the worst. A more likely situation is that you’ll continue on with your university career, finish your degree, acquire a decent paying job and build on your career from there, while participating in NaNoWriMo every November. It’s pretty much in line with what you’re up to now! Chances are, your life won’t go spiralling down a terrible abyss.

So props, Caitlin. I salute your impressive achievement. I wish the absolute best in your future novel endeavours, and now I have some inclination to read your novel. I hope I get to read about some horns getting tooted!

And to readers, congratulations! You’ve survived reading this column for two terms now. I hope that somehow makes you feel good about yourself. If not? Then MAYBE NEXT TIME. I can’t toot that many horns all at once.

You Are Superfantastic! is a column about you! Specifically, it’s about congratulating you! If you’ve done anything you think is worth getting congratulated for – acing a test, making friends, not being dead, so on and so forth – send it over to rchui@imprint.uwaterloo.ca, follow @YRSPRFNTSTC on Twitter, or hit up youaresuperfantastic.com and you just might get congratulated!